So on that note of getting published but not getting paid: We received a note from travel blog High Culture on a Low Budget , an online guide to European culture on the cheap, that they’ re currently looking to build a staff of bloggers to cover the …

You are most welcome, and I appreciate your note. I think that the trickiest realization to navigate - for anyone, of any generation - is that my grandmother, my mother, and me…we’re all correct. And that means, well, it’s complicated. But that’s what makes us interesting.

For what it’s worth, when I read your original post, while I definitely thought you missed the mark and made some silly errors, I also saw that you were attempting to approach what is a difficult and sometimes too serious issue with a bit of humor. They say that humor, done right, is the ultimate sign of intelligence. So, don’t be afraid to throw a little levity into it all. Just, you know, with a little more finesse and more carefully.

I also agree that blogging is great for these kinds of conversations. In that spirit, I contribute to a blog called The Legal Satyricon (randazza.wordpress.com), and welcome you there as well. Also, for HR purposes, I write a print and online publication called the California Employer Advisor (www.employeradvice.com), which has a free ezine on HR topics you can subscribe to.

Best,
Jessica

Thank you for your insight and thought provoking response. I think each generation has a great perspective to share. Reading through your post really made me realize how important it is to be reminded of where we’ve been and how far we’ve come. Sharing from a historical perspective helps us avoid making the same mistakes and falling back into old dogmas.

I also realized while reading your response, how beneficial blogging can be. It give us millennials a sort of mentorship that wasn’t so readily available in previous generations. I’m sitting here receiving management advice from an employment attorney. I really couldn’t ask for anything more!

You definitely have a lot of great things to pass on and I hope you do come back and help us develop (and mature) as young professionals.

Thanks again,

Daniel

You have just had a (perhaps first?) lesson in critical gender studies. It’s a thorny subject to navigate, and absolutely no one gets even close to being “right” the first time.

What’s interesting is that in your original post, and even in your much more thoughtful revised post, you too show both your age and gender. Which is fine, we all have an age and a gender, and none of of can hide either.

I’m going to make an assumption that you yourself are Gen-Y (or, a “millennial”). If you are, then its not terribly surprising that you hadn’t anticipated the response you got. In part, for lack of experience. But also because people who are in their 20s today are two generations removed from a lot of the struggles that form the foundation of the response you recieved.

Historically, saying “women are _____” or “women like _____” almost always resulted in women being dismissed, undervalued, and categorized. So, it’s not just the statement that has people hopping - it’s what it means in very real terms.

For example, the statement “women are emotional” could, if considered in a cultural vaccuum, be (a) an astute observation about the tendency of women to be intuitive, or (b) a true statement that would apply also to men. Unfortunately, historically and outside the cultural vaccuum, when the boss says “women are emotional” it was a way of saying that women were less intelligent, erratic, less reliable, and not tough enough to get the job done. It was (and sometimes still is) a very effective way of marginalizing women.

Thankfully, as a group, we’ve learned some things about how this works. Which is why @AskAManager wisely tells you that, in your role as a manager and leader, focusing on gender differences can land you in hot water (and as an employment attorney, I’ll tell you, it sure can!).

At the same time, you’re right. It cannot go unnoticed or ignored that women and men are different, and that individuals are different, and that leaders and managers need to pay attention to those differences to be effective.

My grandmother would tell you that you should always compliment a woman on her appearance.

My mother would tell you that pointing out our differences is dangerous because it becomes a rationale for minimizing and excluding women, and that you should go read the Equal Rights Amendment.

I will tell you that it’s okay to talk about differences. But, if you’re going to do it, makes sure you’ve taken the time and care to do so with a historical perspective, and to be thoughtful about the reality that what you see in front of you is never the whole story. You’ll make mistakes, and get it wrong, and even offend on occasion. But, if you continue to do (over time, and more deeply) what you’ve started here by being reflective, you’ll be a far wiser person than many with twice your experience.

To start, consider taking advantage of the fact that you work in a multi-generational workplace, and I bet the women you work with have a lot of history and perspective to share — and will appreciate knowing that you’re interested in what they have to offer.

Best,
Jessica

Given a team to manage, I would treat each one with dignity and respect as commanded by the teachings of Christ - to value each one as an individual created by God and not based on gender or race. High performers and people of integrity are who I would want on my team.

Let me know when you come back to texas, we’ll go hit some balls.

@Harry HR Guy and HR Goddess: We have some article ideas in the pipeline and I may shoot each of you an email to get some feedback. My old boss told me if HR is ever giving you advice, you better listen carefully. Your words are valuable.

@AAM: What you’ve said here has been well taken. Thank you.

@Kelly O: I have to say you’re my favorite of this group. I completely agree with what you wrote and you can be sure I’ve taken your advice to heart.

Thanks again everyone.

Prejudice can be favorable, neutral, or unfavorable. It’s just pre-judging in the absence of facts.

If you’re really interested in a woman’s perspective, what I would like to hear is not “gee, your hair smells terrific” but “that was a great job on the TPS reports this week.” If you want to compliment someone in the workplace, try complimenting them on their work. I know, crazy idea, but it makes those other things pale in comparison. I’d rather know my boss thinks highly of my ability to query the database effectively than know he likes my hair shorter. Particularly in today’s environment, when we’re all either looking desperately for work or worried about the stability of our own jobs and companies, letting people know where their strengths lie seems most valuable. That goes for any gender, any age.

Like AAM said, employees are people. Each individual deserves to be treated as such. There are catty men, brusque women, young people who have very conservative values, and some uber-lib Boomers. When discussing gender and generational differences, I wish we could all get past this broad strokes approach and focus more on the people behind it all.