Managing Women - From a Guy’s Perspective.
By Daniel
I always imagined myself as King Leonites leading his 300 Spartans or fueling the competitive camaraderie in the Boiler Room. Instead, in my first management position, I might as well been coach Jimmy Dugan on front of his Peaches - I inherited a team of women… older women.
There would be no “rally the troops” speeches. At least, not the kind I used out on the soccer field with the boys. I kicked off my first lunch meeting trying to explain why for the life of me I didn’t order thin crust pizza and how I could possibly forget it was diet coke. Needless to say, I took home the leftovers.
There are obvious differences between the genders. I mean one pees sitting down and the other standing up. Those differences are magnified even more when you throw in a massive age difference. Leading older women is a crash course in management 101. I’ll never understand the female mystique (that seems to transcend generations), but here’s an attempt from a male perspective.
1. Women are very particular, but not in the same way.
Merill hates it when you put her on speaker phone, Jan gets offended if you don’t say good morning, Cindy always has to sit in that particular place in the conference room… These are all the little idiosyncrasies that makes each woman unique. The unique that is never told to you, but somehow expected to be figured out.
The way you communicate and the way you delegate work needs to be changed up to match the woman. There’s no rhyme or reason. You just need to go with the flow to get the job done.
2. Chivalry is an easy way to win points on stressful days
Older women love it! Opening doors, picking stuff up for them, letting them be first in and out of the elevator. It’s easy and it’s free. When month end rolls around things get fast and furious. Taking the time to remember the little things actually goes a long way.
Honestly, I think this concept crosses the generation gap. I know these days we’re all about miss independent, but there’s something about being a gentleman that all women take notice of.
3. Up the charm to up their work load
Ok, this may seem manipulative, but I’ve seen way too many girls use their good looks to get what they want. I have no shame! The best days are when these older ladies get their hair done. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
“Hey Suzy your hair looks lovely!” talk about it for 2-3 minutes… “Hey, I’ve got this report that needs to get out to corporate…”
Once again, no shame.
4. Gossip is Queen
You have to be political… and sometimes a babysitter. This is probably what I hate the most. Women can be so caddy with each other. From the training bra to menopause it doesn’t really seem to change. Whenever you throw women into the mix you have to seriously manage relationships. I know it goes the same with men, but I strongly believe women are worse.
Learning from the opposite sex takes a lot of time and understanding. It seems for the purpose of streamlining, the default in corporate America is to be a man. We can’t let our gender based differences become an excuse for lazy management. We all need to learn from the opposite sex. Developing your leadership requires understanding of both Mars and Venus. The truth is, women are wired differently and I believe that’s a good thing.
LOVE IT DANIEL! I couldn’t agree more with this article!
I’ve found that taking time to talk about non work stuff and geniunely being interested is one of the most effective ways of working with most people, but particularly older women. Taking 2 or 3 minutes to ask how their weekend was on Monday, or knowing that they’ve got 3 kids and asking how they’re doing goes a long long way!
If all else fails date one of their daughters!
Thanks Zach! I think most men can relate to us on this.
Will, so true. I think men connect a lot quicker. I mean all we have to do is start talking about sports or something. We also get over things a lot quicker. For women it’s a slower process. But, they do take it to heart if you’re genuine about knowing how they’re doing.
Dating a co-worker’s daughter… that should be another article.
Dan, spelling error in first paragraph. Needs to be King Leonidas. I am ever the pedant.
Oh Danny Boy!
From a woman’s perspective, this is interesting… I see men in many of the same ways.
The key to using compliments/chivalry is to genuinely mean them. I don’t tell a guy that I like his tie if I don’t. Trust me: WOMEN KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T MEAN IT. I had a boss that was an a-hole (article waiting to happen), and I resented his attempts to be nice to me because he wasn’t genuine. Everyone saw through him and his attempts at flattery ignited rage rather than induced admiration.
As for women each having little “things”, men are just as bad. Women have been taking care of those “things” for men for a long time. It’s entirely dependent on the person not the sex. Certain PEOPLE just expect you to do things their way, which doesn’t change depending on how you use the toilet.
About being catty, women CAN BE that way. However, I currently work with a team of almost all women and most just want to get their work done. The men at my last job were so political in all of their actions (wanting to kill each other just to reach the top) that these women have been a breath of fresh air.
Dan, the opposite sex is full of mystique. It goes both ways though, and remember to always try and see things from the other side.
Now finished reading the article. Good job man, it makes a lot of sense.
I think this is just good management advice, and while it certainly holds true that you have to manage people differently - and let’s be honest, you have to manage genders differently - I would venture to say that a lot of what you put out in your post today easily applies to men as well
dear daniel,
just wondering… does your employer know where you blog? could they be reading this? is this something you’d honestly be willing to read out loud in a company wide meeting - or send to all staff in your company? that’s everything to consider when blogging and i say this because i’m having a hard time understanding why you’d honestly write this as the posting shows poor taste. for your sake, i hope you don’t have female superiors… or actually, if you manage a team, i hope you don’t have a female staff members either. i’d imagine a revolt. you make a lot of generalizations, you come off as sexist - and it’s extremely immature.
we all write things we regret or want to delete after the fact, and it’s part of the learning process when it comes to blogging… so let’s hope that this is a lesson learned for you.
good luck…
PS: most of us see through your charm. the joke is on you…
Jessica, your arguments are well taken. I hope you do spend the time to read through my response today on the blog.
Daniel
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